greg@chetcuti.com

Seriously though, who’s up for some seizures?

So true it’s ridiculous.

Want to pull in over $300k a year? Just become a spammer.

That’s so gross.

PS – I don’t actually encourage spamming. In fact, quite the opposite. If you spam, I hope you die a slow, painful, embarrassing death.

LOL! These people have WAY too much time on their hands.

These have gotta be the funniest forum threads ever started on 2+2.

“TJ Cookier”

“If They Never Played Poker…“

If by some chance this is real, WOW! But personally, I think I’m gonna have to call bullshit on this.

Ok, this guy MUST have been on something (and I think I know what ).

Instead of doing what most people do when they play blackjack at the casino and bet money, this guy bets WEED. Yes, as in marijuana.

At first he puts his entire bag out, but I guess he thought that was just stupid and he was betting too high (see the double meaning there? Isn’t that clever? ), so he took a bit out of the bag and spread it out on the table.

I know it’s hard to believe that someone could be that stupid, so check it out for yourself. The casino cameras caught the whole thing on tape. I know, casinos with cameras?! Crazy, isn’t it?

The night I moved into my new apartment, I learned a very valuable lesson.

I was in my bedroom making my bed, excited to sleep on my new 400 thread count egyptian cotton sheets (a splurge that wasn’t really a splurge considering I bought them on sale at Walmart), when I was getting a tad warm and wanted something to drink.

I took one step into my kitchen and instantly froze… I’d completely forgotten that I left my back door open, with my kitchen light on, and to my surprise I now had about 150 bugs spread out on the floor, the walls, and the ceiling. It was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen, it was like I was in a freakin’ movie.

Here I am, the first night in my new place, it’s 11pm, I don’t have a vacuum yet (or know my neighbours so that I can ask to borrow theirs), my cat’s a pussy that doesn’t eat little critters (at least not on a mass scale like this), and I have a ton of miscellaneous bugs and moths in my kitchen. Good times, good times.

So I ended up turning the kitchen light off and turning the patio light on, in hopes that they’d move outside. I then went and huddled in my living room with a small lamp on, eating my dinner and hoping the bugs were vacating. After about an hour I went to check on them, and although the majority of them were gone, I still had quite the mess to cleanup. So I attacked the little bastards with a broom that the previous tenant left. Not so elegant, but highly effective.

That reminds me, I still have to give the ceiling a full cleaning. There are still some bug carcass remains here and there.

Since I’ve been in Montreal for a month now, I figured it was about time I blew the dust off my Montreal Blog and started doing some posting.

What can I say about Montreal. Hmmm… I could talk about the amazing nightlife (Hurley’s on Crescent St. rocks!), the oodles of beautiful girls, the fact that I’m addicted to Montreal smoked meat, the restaraunts that serve almost 30 different kinds of poutine (you heard me right!), or paying $20 for a carton for cigarettes, but the first thing that’s coming to mind is, HOLY FUCK IS IT HUMID HERE!! Like seriously, if someone had warned me about the humidity I may not have come. Well, ok, I still would’ve come, I just would’ve been more prepared for it.

To give you an example of how humid it is here, one day I went out to buy a new computer/TV (another media center system), and by the end of the day I ended up prioritizing an air conditioner over the computer. Now if you know me, you’ll know how fucked up that is. Complete and utter ridiculousness to say the least. The day I was out shopping it got to about 43°, and the thought of not having an air conditioner that night made me want to cry. Although once I got the a/c home I did shed a tear, but that was a tear of joy.

To this day I still don’t have a computer (although it’s on its way), and I didn’t have a TV until a few days ago, but goddamn was it worth it. It’s nice getting home, turning on the a/c, and within 10-15 minutes having my living room and bedroom feeling like an ice box.

So, humidity and bugs aside (there are a LOT of creepy bugs here, and they seem to use my back patio as a meeting place at night), I must say that I’m absolutely loving Montreal. My original plan was to come out here for a few years, check out the city, do some travelling (since there are a ton of cool places to go close by), and then if I wasn’t happy here head back to BC, but I’m just not sure if that’s going to happen now.

Maybe I won’t stay in Montreal forever, but going back to BC doesn’t really appeal to me at this point. Montreal has shown me what a city CAN offer, and to be honest, Vancouver seems really boring to me now (I’m just waiting for the hate mail to pour in now ).

Even the metro system here has shown me how crappy the skytrain is. It makes the skytrain seem like some archaic piece of crap, even though the Montreal metro was built 20 years before the skytrain.

Can’t it just be mildly unbalanced glue? What the hell happened to the glue during its childhood that made it so damn crazy?

I just had a tube of it blow up all over my hand, and I’ve spent the last hour and a half slowly picking it off my fingers so that I didn’t lose too much skin. Luckily I didn’t panic (much) when it exploded, and I managed to keep my fingers apart, so it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve been. The tube says that if it bonds to skin to run it under water and call poison control. Thanks, but I think I’ll just pick at it for a while and hope for the best

Seriously though, can’t they make it so that you have a 30-60 second window of opportunity to cleanup if something goes wrong? The skin on my left hand would’ve really appreciated that.